Reflecting

I was contemplating how life has changed over the past year. On paper, though it really doesn't seem like it changed at all.

2013 Sara	2014 Sara
Lived in Japan	Lives in Japan
Worked at an international preschool	Works at the same international preschool
In a relationship	In a relationship

But oh how much she's changed since then.* The biggest difference is that the me of 2013 was controlled by the relationship whereas now I see my current relationship as something that enhances my experiences here.  It's something that's been much healthier for me and has been such a blessing to have someone so compassionate in my life.

What's really been tumbling through my brain though is the nature of relationships.  It amazes me how a person who I was so close to a year ago has been completely removed from my life.  I am both saddened by it, and yet accept it for what is is.  There's a huge temptation to text my ex and just ask him if he finds it funny as well.  If it saddens him too to some degree (which I highly doubt).  I guess all I can do for now is just let this thought tumble around a bit more.

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*I had given up the life of 2013 to go back home which I would now say was mostly for the relationship I was in at the time.  My excuse then was even if things fell through with the then nearly 1-year relationship, I could get started on a real career at home.  But no one can predict how the heart handles things like a break up.  Two weeks before going home, after having built up so many expectations as to how my relationship could grow from finally being together and how I could get started in the "real" world, I was dumped.  When I got home, starting a career was the last thing on my mind. Rather, it was months of floundering about trying to pick up the pieces and get myself together.

I think of this time of healing as The Hiatus.  I wasn't myself anymore, and I desperately wanted to move on from the post-breakup Sara who was felt cheated and bitter.  And the fact that my ex lived on the same island as me made me constantly wonder about him.  So to remedy this, I decided to travel for a month and a half.  Nothing heals the heart like distance.

During my travels I had quickly become friends with a guy I had met back home, and soon we became something more than friends by the time I returned. Around the same time, my old workplace told me my old position had opened up again and offered me a job.  So I started dating again while preparing to move back to Japan.